You would think I would have learnt by now about what I can and can’t eat with my band…. but it seems I am a slow learner even after 8 months. I had a horrendous evening last Thursday because I forgot to follow the rules! I was away from home on one of my frequent business trips and spent the day in a workshop where you don’t get to leave and the food is provided – but as is often the case, it was not really band friendly food – lots of bread etc which I find very difficult. I had already eaten my emergency protein bar the day before so by the end of the day I was starving and once back at our office I rummaged around in the kitchen to find something to eat. I found a bag of potato chips/crisps which are “slider” foods for me and began stuffing my face with them. They tasted great although I probably went a bit fast but they seemed to go down ok. They were salty so I followed them down with a gulp of water…. BIG MISTAKE!!! Water and potato chips are not a good combo – imagine wallpaper paste plugging the hole. Almost instantly I started sliming… not good.
By this time the office had emptied out and it was almost time for me to head to the airport for my flight home – after 5 mins hanging over the basin I decided it was OK to leave. I locked up the office, got into the lift and pressed ground… I’d only just got to the foyer when I knew I was going to have to throw up. Only then did I realise that since this isn’t my home office and I didn’t have an after hours access card for the lift I couldn’t get back into the office. Holy crap – now what… nothing but 3 artificial plants in the foyer – within moments one of them had been fertilized!! Dear oh dear – I hope there are no security cameras in the foyer.
Out into the fresh air… feeling a bit better… the sliming has abated somewhat. Time to get on the bus to the airport. I figure I’ll be able to hide anonymously in the back even if I do feel bad. But, just my luck, as soon as I get on I hear my name and an old work colleague from my home town is also on the bus heading to the airport and for the same flight. She has a spare seat and insists I sit down with her. Within a few minutes I’m feeling pretty bad again… sliming and looking in my bag for something to throw up into. I’m trying to decide whether to get off the bus and find the nearest rubbish bin or just spit into my dirty clothes in my bag. I have to confess to my neighbour that I am feeling sick and she rummages in her backpack and produces a plastic bag for me. She hopes I can hold on, I can’t! How embarrassing! I make up a story about eating something bad… well I did but it’s not food poisoning!
We make it to the airport and I run away… but she finds me again in the airline lounge and brings me a drink of water. Hmmm… no thanks – even that is not safe. Our plane is delayed so we are there for ages. I am finally feeling better after an hour or so and because I haven’t had enough food during the day, I am still hungry… Here is where my stupidity really kicks in… I feel a bit better so I risk a couple of pieces of cheese and a rice cracker! What was I thinking…. now that is stuck too – here we go again!
They call our plane to board… help… I’m sliming all the way and clutching a wad of serviettes to my mouth. The plane is full of people I know, all of us regular travellers and the flight attendant I know well. I have a mercy dash to the tiny plane toilet at the front of the cabin – yes everyone can see me! Small spit in there but it is not enough… and I have to be seated for take-off… oh my goodness! By now I’m clutching a sick bag and my neighbours are averting their eyes… probably wishing I could be moved to somewhere else. Just as we take off I finally throw up the offending cheese and cracker… blessed relief. The rest of the flight is spent trying to pretend I was asleep… just let me get home! Once there, I finally get some sense and have only some water and a protein drink – slowly!
Lessons learnt – eat slowly; don’t drink water after potato chips; always carry a plastic bag with you; if you do vomit/throw-up/PB – take it easy for the rest of the day – just drink fluids cos everything can be swollen; and most importantly – remember these lessons!!
