Frustrated - Going around in Circles!

I'm feeling pretty frustrated with my lack of progress. I've sat around the same weight for the last month - just watching the scales go up and down over the same 1.5kgs but never getting past my lowest point from 4 weeks ago. My band was feeling really tight after my last fill 5 weeks ago but it is not now and I'm hungry again. And when I am frustrated I start making poor food choices, start adding a few snacks and treats to give myself a boost. Nothing too drastic yet but I know it is not a good thing for me to go down that road....! Time to re-focus and also time to get another small fill.

I guess it is a natural plateau that we all reach sometimes during our weight loss journey. And it is interesting that Maree and I are both experiencing the same thing at the moment. Maybe it is just time for our bodies to adjust for a bit but I don't like waiting. I'm hoping the fill tomorrow will get rid of the hunger again and kick start a new weight loss phase. I was going to wait till after Easter but have decided that might not be a good idea given how my food intake is creeping up. I probably should have gone for a fill in the last couple of weeks but since I don't live in the same city as the clinic it takes a bit more planning. Anyway, I am making a flying visit tomorrow and then home in time to enjoy a family Easter weekend.

Thanks to all of you bandster/blogger followers for your comments and support. I love to hear from you and am following your progress as well. I hope you all have a wonderful long weekend.

And yet another fill - is this a record?!

Third fill in 10 days this morning - I posted about the .1 ml fill where I think I lost at least that, then last Tuesday I had another .2ml fill. This morning I had yet another .2 ml fill as I am still HUNGRY. Interestingly I should have had 6.7ml before today's fill but the nurse took out all the fluid before she started and I only had 6.0 ml - strange!! So I have 6.2 ml now in a 10 ml band so still a way to go. She said she would like to give me a bigger amount (say .6 ml) but as Easter is coming up and she's going away and so am I, she didn't want me to be overfilled and not able to get in for an un-fill. I'm comfortable with that - I certainly don't want to be in the red zone and although I'm frustrated that I haven't had a loss for a month, I realise this is a long term game so I'm trying to be patient.

Only two days of work until we're all off work and school for a week (then the girls have another week of holidays - they'll go to a holiday programme). We're heading up to see family (Mum and Dad and Jenny and her lot) on Friday - will be nice to have a break. I'm keen to go shopping and get some new clothes - though I don't want to spend too much as I hope these clothes will be too big soon as well - but I have hardly anything to wear and I think rotating the same three outfits has gone on long enough! I'm also going to eat some chocolate on Easter Sunday - only the good stuff and only one one day - hopefully that will limit any damage!!

Another fill

I managed to get an appointment yesterday and saw the new nurse again - told her I was HUNGRY (and that I'd eaten a whole bagel the day before with no problems) - she gave me another .2 ml - here's hoping that one takes the edge off - I feel like I'm so close to the green zone but keep dipping back into yellow. I have another appointment for next Tuesday so we'll see how I'm doing then.

Thanks for your nice comments about photo - how funny that Tamati looks like the Rock! He is definitely not a wrestler! A lover not a fighter I'd say...

Just noticed that Jenny and I definitely need a new profile photo - that one is horrid. I'm seeing Jen next week for Easter so we'll try to get a better shot then. It's also time for more comparison shots (no holds barred, in our underwear arrrrgghhgh!!). We took some pre op and at Christmas so it'll be interesting to see how the current shots compare - and no, those are not on this blog!

Getting impatient

I really want to start losing again - had another small fill last Friday but it was a new nurse (again!) who seemed really nice and was supervised by one of the surgeons (as apparently my port is so easy to find because I "don't have much abdominal fat" - strange but still nice NSV!). The fill was .1 ml and as she took the needle out "some" fluid came out - so they put the .1 ml in again but I wonder if I've had a net loss as I'm feeling hungry and today I ate both a bagel and some rice (I know, I know) - I have another appointment for next week but think I'll try to make one sooner.

Otherwise I had a great weekend - went to the races (horses that is, not cars or whatever else races) on Saturday with a group of girlfriends - a whole day out without the kids or husbands - and we cut loose. We were in a "girls day out" tent for lunch etc with fashion parades and competitions as well as the horse races. I won a $200 shoe voucher - great score! And tried Zumba and salsa - a few wines definitely helped! All in all a great day. Here I am looking a little crazed with the MC for the day (a minor celebrity here in New Zealand - he's a TV weatherman - very nice guy, although I think we look like we're in a toothpaste ad!).

Plateau time...

I am on a plateau - well more of a repeat of the same steps up and down over and over - but the result is getting nowhere. After feeling good last week, this week I'm a little blah - but that's probably the TOTM - never good for the attitude! Trying to keep on track knowing that will work in the end. *Sigh* - that's me feeling sorry for myself for no good reason...snap out of it, Maree!

Adjusting.... me and my band!

It's 2 weeks now since my last fill and my band has often seemed really tight since then... especially in the morning and even through to mid-afternoon. I know from Maree and your blogs, that most bandsters have that 'tight in the morning' sensation but before the last fill I didn't really notice it. Now though I am having to adjust my eating pattern and I'm finding it more of a challenge than I had imagined. I think it is just getting my head around the fact that just my beloved flat white coffee first thing in the morning will actually be enough for me to not feel hungry till I can comfortably eat something later on. My head is still saying 'you had better eat some breakfast' - after years of learned diet-habits, to ensure I always ate 3 meals a day especially breakfast, as skipping meals was always seen as a bad idea!

The end result has been that horrible uncomfortable tight/stuck feeling every morning and often at lunchtime as well. And then I haven't eaten enough during the day which means I am hungry and I snack all evening - it has to stop! The last day or so has been a little better as I have tried to work with the band a bit more instead of using my head for signs it is food time. I did wonder if my band is too tight but it seems OK in the evening so I'm not sure that is the problem. I'm a bit frustrated with myself and of course because of this and my poor food choices, I am not losing anything.

So as I said - time for an adjustment - but this time it is me who needs adjusting not my band. I am sure I can get this right... I just need to listen to my body and not my head!

Business as usual

I feel like I'm ticking along quite nicely at the moment - I'm still losing, not quickly, but the scale is moving downwards every week - I still have about 12 kg to go to my (first) goal weight but nearly 4 months into this lap band journey, I'm getting to know how to work the band. I still struggle with some old habits, but on the whole I am soooo pleased with the decision I made.

I went to a training course yesterday - lunch was wedges, pizza and pasta salad. Not very band friendly. I ate a couple of wedges (in very small pieces), the salmon off a piece of pizza and the roast vegetables out of the pasta salad - I doubt anyone else noticed, but if they did, they must have thought I was the slowest and pickiest eater in the world!

A NSV today when one of the other mothers at ballet commented that I'd lost "a lot" of weight - it's nice to get those comments since noone at work has said anything - 16.5 kgs down (that's about 36 pounds for our non-metric friends) and not one comment - weird (also weird that I can't spell weird, just took me 3 tries to get that right and it still looks wrong!).

Eating like a slim person

At lunchtime today I went to a cafe with a friend. Looking for something band-friendly I spotted a smoked chicken wrap in the cabinet and ordered that (it was about 10cm long). Turned out it was two wraps - in the old days I would have eaten it without a thought - today I automatically said to my friend "that's too much for me - do you want to share?". I ate like a slim person - yay me! Even stranger were the words which came out of my mouth afterwards "both would have been too much" - and I meant it! Pre-band I would have been eyeing up the slices afterwards. This is definitely a NSV for me. AND I've lost a kilo in the last few days - at last the scales are moving!

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Greetings from "Birthday Central" where is it all about me today since I am the Birthday Girl! I'm 47 years old today and feel better than I have on most of my birthdays for the last 20 years.. I'm certainly lighter and feeling pretty good about myself. I've taken the day off work and have been socialising with coffee dates and a birthday lunch date with friends... I'm loving ME day! I am a little concerned about how many wrinkles have now appeared on my face... see my self-photo taken just now on our new home computer!

I didn't actually eat much at my birthday lunch - I finally had a fill on Friday of 0.5ml - and now my band seems very tight - maybe too tight... I am in 'wait and see' mode as I really felt I needed it but now I can't seem to get much down at all and I am feeling hungry cos I am not eating enough. This really is a balancing act isn't it.

More birthday celebrations are planned for tonight with a couple of friends dropping in for a bubbly later and my boys and I are going out for dinner. Yes - food and drink are still a big part of my social life and celebrations... but the best part is that this year I know I won't be 2 kgs heavier when I get up tomorrow!

I'm so looking forward to the year ahead... and being healthier and slimmer. Lets hear it for the Band!

When will the scale move?

I'm getting sick of seeing the same number on the scale every morning - I know that it will move if I keep eating the right food in the right amount but sometimes it's hard to believe it - I've been at this weight before and part of me wonders if this is as good as it gets - I know that doesn't make sense but I'm getting frustrated - arrghhh! I've never been good at waiting!

So I'll try to find some positives - we took the kids swimming in the weekend and I caught a glimpse in the mirror in the changing rooms while I was in my togs and I can definitely see a difference - so that was good to see! And in non-weight related news, I managed to teach one six year old to float in the pool - so that was a definite positive (her twin sister had worked it out already this summer and was doing her best fish imitation!). It was great to see how proud they are of themselves as they learn to swim...I spent years swimming (training and competing) and I'd love it if my girls enjoyed the water as much as I do.